He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
3pm strippers are depressing
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
