I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
