On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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