when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
