She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I stole a fireplace last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
