at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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