Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
