Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
