Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
