Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
