Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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