you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
