I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
