She announced her abortion via fbk
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
