that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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