she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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