what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
