so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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