Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
