mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
