Buhtt sex?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
