his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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