I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
