I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
