it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
