So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
