since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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