I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
