He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
