Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
