i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He passed out mid-signature
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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