My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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