i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
