and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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