On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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