just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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