You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
