i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
