break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
