Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
