I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
