if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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