it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
