just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
