the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
