Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
