woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
