Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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