what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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