I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
