i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
